How to Be a Bad Boy in One Easy Lesson

Listen up, guys.
Girls want bad boys.
That's right.
They want bad boys and they want them baaaaad.

I have this one lady friend who manages to get all kinds of guys collapsing at her feet, and I'm talking some really nice gents.
These are the kind of guys who wine her, dine her, and shower her with flowers, perfume and gifts.
But does she want these "good guys?"
No way, Jose.
She wants them down, dirty and bad.
And she's not alone.

Why, you ask?
What's a nice looking woman like this doing in a zone like that?
I have a few theories which I'll pass on to you below:

1. Whether they admit it or not, women love excitement!
   They love the ongoing surprise element, wondering when he's going to call, if he's going to ask her out, will he be drunk or stoned when she sees him.
2. Women love the raw, hunky, masculinity associated with the proverbial bad boy.
   Not that all bad boys fit this physical mold, but the dirtier, the messier the hair, and the grubbier the clothes, the faster she'll come running.
3. Traveling to the edge, and maybe even over: the good girl relishes the pure thrill of traveling to the edge with her bad boy.
   Not that she'll participate in his hard drinking, wild riding, heavy smoking practices, but boy does she like to go along for the wild ride!
4. Her nurturing side revs into overdrive.
   Many women ascribe to the "fix-it" style of relationship, and what better to fix than a bad boy?

Aha -- want to be a bad boy?
Okay, here are a few things you can do to take on that persona

• Dress the part: this is no time for dockers and starched shirts. We're talking jeans and t-shirts -- the grubbier the better.
• Hygiene: this is a tough one because you certainly don't want to smell like the town dump, but a little BO is an unbelievable aphrodisiac.
  Also, get a little grease under those fingernails, like you've spent the day in the garage crawling around car engines.
• Getting the voice and lingo down: Spend an evening or two in a biker bar.
  Listen to how the bad boy bikers talk.
  Copy them.
• Take up smoking: this may be a tough one, but you can always just swish the smoke around in your mouth rather than inhale.
• Transportation: speaking of bikers, get your own bike, or if that's not an option, find yourself a souped up car with a LOUD muffler.
• Drink beer with whisky chasers: need I say more?
• Music: hard core, acid rock, and turn it up loud!!!
• Be erratic: be unreliable as hell in calling her.
  Tell her you'll call at a certain time, and then don't call.
  Call her in the middle of the night.
  Tell her you want to see her and then never follow up.
  Get her on a wild goose chase -- AFTER YOU!!!!

So, fellas, there you are, my advice on how to become a bad boy and have the girls flocking to your door.